Faceblindness

One of the unique features of my neurological makeup is my inability to remember and recognize faces. If you ever want to commit a crime, don't worry if I am a witness--I would never be able to pick you out in a line-up. Or help one of those police artists to develop an accurate sketch.

There is a fancy Greek word for this condition (propospagnosia, literally "face-not-knowing," agnosia being related to the English word "agnostic"). But it's easier to pronouce "faceblindness." If you look it up on the internet, you can find out about it--it is a real problem and apparently something that is sometimes associated with Asperger's syndrome (I found out about it on an autism spectrum mailing list).

Until I learned that this was actually a neurological issue and not some form of moral failing, I was deeply embarrassed by my inability to recognize faces. If a person is in the right context--e.g. church members at church, work colleagues at work, neighbors in the neighborhood, I can often make a good guess by things they are carrying with them or how they great me or what their hairstyle is. For instance, a neighbor came by with his boxer dog. My thoughts: boxer dog plus guy in Gander Mountain ballcap--it must be Brady!!

But when they are out of context--such as when I see someone I know at the grocery store--I'm in trouble, unless I have my seeing-eye-husband along.

At work, I greet everyone I see. It's not just being friendly--I don't want people I know to feel like I was being snobby or ignoring them. I'm sneaky in my classroom: if it's a computer classroom, I can look at the screen that someone is using and figure out who they are.

There is another aspect of this that is very uncomfortable. Because I have poor recognition skills, this means that I get people mixed up. People in minority ethnic groups might think that I think "all such and such type people look alike," and I hate the thought that I might be contributing to someone's sense of hurt over something like that.

When I was in graduate school, I would watch the groups of young women during the sorority rush, and I realized there was a sorority where all the girls were blondes. I would have trouble in such a sorority, not just because I'm not a blonde (does premature grey count?) but also because really, they all look alike to me. So, this characteristic does not arise from my having any more prejudice in my heart than any other person who is not an ethnic minority (just a neurological minority). But I know that people's first impression of me in this instance is negative. And, I also know that I use non-facial physical markers to identify people, skin color being one.

I'm pretty good at recognizing objects and I could pick out my violin from a lineup (maybe I'll pick that Strad instead!). But some piece of the puzzle of my brain is missing. While I wouldn't want to get rid of Asperger's because of everything it contributes to my abilities, I wouldn't mind learning how to see faces. I really don't want to hurt other people.